


Identifying My Heart

by Supernaturally_Bonafide15



Series: Tags Of Love [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Military, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 03:33:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2907773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supernaturally_Bonafide15/pseuds/Supernaturally_Bonafide15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'd cover you in kisses<br/>Hold you in my arms<br/>That's all that I can think of<br/>Every minute we're apart<br/>Darlin' I've been livin'<br/>For the moment that we touch<br/>So I can cover you in kisses<br/>And wrap you in my love!<br/>-John Michael Montgomery</p>
<p>Can be read as a stand alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Identifying My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written in 24hours because it was an idea I couldn't turn myself away from. 5am in the morning can get the idea flowing, especially after an image pops into the head. 
> 
> Also I would like to give a shout out to my muse, Winchesters_Bones, because her words keep me at a stable level of insanity and inspire me to write. She really deserves the world!
> 
> P.S. I don't own anything, just love the names, because they make such great characters.

Jared paced the kitchen floor. He stopped once to look out the window to see the calming snowflakes fall gently to the ground. He was freaked out, worried beyond compared. He felt that, due to his worried gait, a path would soon be worn into the hardwood floor. Over the last three months it seemed that was what he had been doing: pacing and waiting for some sign or some sort of breather that his husband was alive or know at least his whereabouts, even if that meant his demise. Jensen had been on deployment for the past fifteen months.

Occasional letters or phone calls usually sufficed. They both hated technology, so fast pace emails or instant messaging was never their thing. Jensen was also a huge history nerd and always said receiving Jared’s letters made him feel like he was fighting in a war before technology was born. Jared always figured Jensen felt like a Union or Confederate soldier serving his time during the Civil War or maybe some recent war when phones were used. Either way it all came down to the lack of communication on Jensen’s part, right now.

Jared seemed like he was a huge worry wart sending Jensen a package every week that contained a letter for each day. He tried calling the number Jensen had given him at least five times, but it went straight to the answering machine. Jared removed the dog tags from around his neck and began shuffling them through his fingers. He knew it was a nervous habit he had picked up ever since Jensen had been deployed. He let his mind wonder to the memory when Jensen had given him his tags.

_~~_

_Jensen was in his favorite ripped jeans, a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and un-tucked, and a grayish tan vest over top. His feet were decorated with his favorite broken in grey converse shoes. They were sitting in their favorite spot outback of their old Victorian style house, underneath the shade of the mighty willow tree. The tree had been growing for over a hundred years. The dangling branches were swaying in the light breeze, while the leaves would tickle along the two bodies lying beneath it. Jared laid there staring at his boyfriend at the time. The fluffy cloud-filled, sunny day seemed brighter every time Jensen either smiled or laughed. He felt tingles crawl across his skin each time Jensen touched him. When Jensen had sat up, pulling his knees to his chest, Jared felt the gentle air charge with a bit of tension._

_“Jay,” Jensen turned towards Jared. He adored how casual Jared looked lying under the shade of the willow. He was wearing his dark, baggy jeans, a brownish, gray shirt, and his favorite black beanie. Jensen reached into his vest pocket, curling his fingers around the cool metal. “I have two things I need to talk to you about.” Jensen needed a few moments to collect his thoughts. He regretted saying that when Jared sat up looking like he had lost his shoe._

_“Alright, Jensen,” he said quietly._

_“If I ask you if you want good news or bad, most people would reply ‘bad’, but I already know your answer, because you are not most people and you always choose the good.” Jensen knew that was one of the reasons he had fallen in love with Jared. The giant man always had a positive outlook on life._

_Jared felt like Jensen was going to rip his heart into shreds. “Jense,” he asked nervously._

_“Just here me out, okay,” Jensen said quickly. “Okay, here goes. Jay, the first time I met you…”_

_“More like running into, there Jensen,” Jared chuckled softly at how they had met: both running late for classes down at the university. One was trying to leave the library, while the other was rushing towards it._

_Jensen laughed fondly at how Jared always had to share that tidbit of detail. “When we ran into each other,” Jensen corrected himself. “I felt the instant spark to a kindle of wood,” he continued. “I felt the match light up the whole forest. When I looked into your eyes, I thought to myself I would love to start a fire in that forest foliage. I saw the sky and the trees among your eyes and I knew then as I know now, that was what the earth must have looked liked before man decided to destroy it.”_

_Jensen found the courage to go on, as he wrapped his fingers tighter around the object in his pocket. “Ever since then, I knew I would love to keep exploring the wilderness behind your eyes. I knew one day I would make it to the heart of the forest. And I have found it. Eureka!” Jensen said with a bit of merriment in his voice. “Even though I have found the heart, there is still a whole lot more forest to be discovered. So Jared Tristan Padalecki, can you and I go on an adventure together, so that we may explore the vast wilderness of each other? Though you have captured my heart, the soul still needs to be found, and the only way to find it is if you say yes and let our two worlds collide.”_

_Jensen took a deep steadying breath, “Will you do the greatest honor in marrying me?” Jensen proceeded to pull out his dog tags. He couldn’t quite afford a ring, but he knew he would rather see Jared wear his tags over his heart for the rest of his life._

_Jared felt his eyes blink, but the air in his lungs was swept away with the breeze. He knew what he had to say, but he was so fuddled by the event, his brain had shut down on him to reboot. Finally when the air grew in sync with his blinking, he had to say what he already figured what he needed to say. He quietly whispered the word to the wind, “Yes.”_  
 _Jensen heard the word carry gently like the brush of air among the branches. He practically plowed into Jared with a huge passionate kiss. He felt like a hundred moons were smiling down upon them, at that very moment when they started kissing and giggling like loons. “Love you till the ends of time.”_

_“Love you till the last adventure,” Jared whispered back._

_Jensen placed his tags around Jared’s neck and kissed the man like he hadn’t eaten for forty years._

_Coming down from the high, Jared knew Jensen had bad news to tell him. He shut down all the thoughts of what it could be. He did not want to wander into that territory. “Jense,” Jared said anxiously._

_Jensen closed his eyes for a moment knowing he wasn’t finished. He held Jared closer into his arms and found the strength he would need for the information he would have to tell his fiancé. “Well here goes the dimmer side. I got a letter in the mail the other day.” Jared gasped knowing full well what that letter meant. “I can tell you can already guess what it was about. It’s true; I have to be sent to Afghanistan. Believe me I didn’t think they would send me again, but it’s happening.” Jensen felt depleted. The positive energy had seemed to have left._

_“For how long,” Jared asked quietly._

_“Fifteen to eighteen months,” Jensen said softly, not wanting to believe it himself._

_“How soon,” Jensen always loved Jared in times like this, because he would always get to the point._

_“Shipment is in ten weeks,” Jensen did not want to answer Jared’s next question; the question he could already see steaming out his brain._

_“When do you leave for training?” Jared felt Jensen tense and knew it was sooner than he had hoped._

_“In ten days,” They both let out a breath of frustration and fear._  
 _Jared tried putting a hint of cheeriness in his voice, “Well then we have ten days to plan a wedding then.”_

_“About that,” Jensen began hesitantly. “Is it possible if we could wait till I come back? It would give me a reason to keep trudging through._  
 _Jared would do anything to make the deployment go by faster, “Jense that is the perfect idea.”_

_“But I have something I need to ask you…” Jensen waited for Jared to nod his head, like he usually did when Jensen teetered off. “Can we at least have a small ceremony between you and me and a priest, just to help with the anticipation for the bigger thing and also with some legal papers I have to deal with?”_

_“Anything for you my love,” Jared would go to the ends of the universe for the older man._

_Three days later he and Jensen were standing in front of their friend Jason Manns, who had gotten a license off of the internet, and exchanged vows and made their relationship legal. Seven days later the teary goodbye happened with exchange of letters, before Jensen walked down the terminal to the plane that would take him to the start of the long distance relationship._

~~  
Jared leaned up against the counter. He could see the snow was accumulating to something more than a dusting. He hoped it would last till Christmas, which was two weeks away. He knew he should focus on getting everything ready for it, but to him it didn’t pay. Jensen wouldn’t be home, he’d still be on his tour.  
He went back to pacing and rolling the dog tags in his hand. Jared was so lost in thought; he didn’t hear footsteps reverberate through the entryway.

“Hey Jay,” When Jared heard a deep, honey silk voice echo through the historical house, he turned around. Standing in the doorway, clad in Army attire, was his husband. Jared felt his entire world tilt as darkness fell across his vision.

Jensen saw the entire act in slow motion. One minute he saw Jared pacing, the next minute his partner was sprawled across the wood floor. He heard Jared’s body thump, before he saw an arm drop to the side, as the hand released whatever it was holding. Jensen ran to his best friend and knelt down, gently shaking him awake. His eyes caught a glint of something from the arm that had thrown itself from the large body. Jensen drew a sharp breath in when he noticed it was his dog tags. By the look of Jared’s hand, he was holding onto the tags for dear life. There were indents in his skin from the metal. Jensen wanted to beat himself up across the head, knowing he was the one who caused his mate so much worry and fear, and making him faint. Jensen wrapped his hand around Jared’s paw, closing the identity necklace back into it.  
He was relieved when he saw a flutter of worldly eyes, “Jay, you with me?”

Jared didn’t know if his mind was playing tricks on him or he had somehow keeled over. He didn’t know if the warmth of a large hand holding his was real. How could Jensen have been home? He still was overseas, still a few thousand miles away. He slowly peeled his eyes open. If he saw the spring time grass eyes stare back at him, he would know then he had died. Jared tilted his eyes to the light and stared into the breathtaking Ireland eyes. “Jense,” he choked out.

“Hey beautiful,” Jared knew he was dreaming. Jensen always started his letters out like that. He must be wrapped up in a dream where he was imagining Jensen reading his letters out loud. Jared felt a hand cradle his head, as lips connected like a cord into a plug-in. Jared had definitely gone off the deep end, if he could feel the bourbon smooth lips against his. He heard the angel choir sing, as Jensen started chuckling against his mouth. “If I know what you are thinking, Jay, I am real, flesh and blood and pumping heart.”

“This really can't be,” he felt Jensen pull him into a sitting position.

“Oh darling, it’s real.” Jensen kissed him again; making sure Jared knew he was the actual thing. Jared shivered when the Texan accent slipped out. He definitely was not lost in headspace.

Jared felt every emotion began colliding through his system, knowing Jensen’s solid form was right in front of him. He was overjoyed; thick, fat tears and snot running down his face; and he couldn’t stop laughing like he had gone mental. Jensen was home. Jensen was safely in the confines of their home. His husband, lover, the person he couldn’t live without, was in reaching distance. He placed a hand over the heart of the person he had wished so badly in the last fifteen months to finally come home. Jared finally had his wish granted. Jensen was once and for all home. “Hey good lookin’,” Jared breathed out.

Jensen couldn’t help feel the same emotional destruction, when Jared’s soft declaration of love thrummed in his ears. He wrapped Jared up into his arms, never letting go of the only person he had missed in the last few months. He didn’t care if their tears and snot were running down their faces; he couldn’t stop kissing the lovable man. Both his physical and mental body was home. His heart could finally beat easy, knowing it was close to the person that made it have rhythm. He was finally in the place he had been dreaming of for the past fifteen month. He was surrounded on every side of his husband.

“Love you till the last adventure,” Jensen felt his body and heart flutter as he heard those words whispered into his ear.

“Love you till the ends of time, Jay,” He secretly whispered back, as he placed the dog tags safely back around Jared’s neck.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! You probably need a tissue and I will give you one and a huge ginaromous hug right now! Y'all deserve a big serving of pie!(:


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